First of all, idk if this is the right sub for saying all this. I just felt like its somewhat related to cllg, is about cllg students, etc. so I'll rant here. Also I'm posting here for first time so bhul chuk maaf pls. 

So around 2 months ago in end of Arpil, I started looking for internships. No referrals, no nepotism, no nothing. Just cold emails. I had to genuinely spend hours going thru everything to make my profile, emails, as good as possible to get the internship. Finally I got the internship, started 1 month ago.

And bcz the work environment in the dept I got into is so formal bro, like I tried making friends and peers and failed every single time. I started to isolate and worst part is that was not by choice. Fast forward to one month into internship, I am feeling lonely more than ever. I work alone, eat alone, go home alone, and even at home I can't really socialize (I dont wanna disclose what it is but the conditions make it so that I have to isolate myself from everyone to keep drama and kalesh from happening so I just try to detach) and I just wanna socialize bro. My social interaction has fallen to zero, so much so I start talking to myself. 😭

Now, theres this classmate of mine, who is on and off in our friend group, she's smart so I figured I'd help her as she was wanting to be productive during this holiday period. So I was with her from start to finish during the process and helped her till she actually entered the lab in which she got the internship. Like from whom to email, what to email, build her cv, send it, choose profs, choose topics, how to arrive, how to depart, where to go, how she'd reach there, where's the lab, where's the prof ka cabin I was with her. 

Finally, she started her internship a week ago. And she knew about yk the whole loneliness thing. To her luck, her dept was completely different. She got colleagues of her age, and even those who were elder were so chill around each other. So naturally, she was talking and spending time with her. 

When she got the internship right, I thought "chalo at least now I will have someone to eat lunch with and leave home with" and I even texted her that lets grab lunch 3-4 times and she declined each time bro. One time, she even said she went to lunch with her colleague to the mess and didn't even tell me even tho I was telling her since the morning let's grab lunch. (And before u say anything no im not chasing her like some kinda creep, ik how to maintain boundaries)

My point is, bro I am so pissed at her. Like im not mad or angry but I'm srsly like so upset and disappointed. I'm not saying she's obligated to do smthng for me or that my help towards her had some strings attached cuz I didnt help her to help me cope with my loneliness, I just did it for the sake of it. 

Idk why exactly im feeling this way but yeah. I just wanna know if im doing wrong or am I missing anything. I am not blaming her but since shes joined she has kinda ignored me and before that she was almost daily texting me about one thing or another. 

I just texted her again if she wanna grab lunch tmrw and all I got was "idk".

The pic is one that I clicked during internship today. 

Feeling pissed at a classmate for unknown reasons.