For R, if it’s meant to, it will.

For R.
I will give you time. I will give me time. What is meant will happen. What is bound to be will not be apart. Like a magnet it will attract each other. Like you attract me to you… if it bound to happen, I will naturally attract you to me. No silly games. I don’t play games , I’m not good at it anyway. My heart cannot handle the anxiety. The waiting, the silence, the uncertainty. I want to get to know you. My mind is wondering “who is he? What kind of a friend is he? What kind of son is he?”. But Lord, I am so scared of loving again. I’m scared of being rejected and disliked. I’m scared of being a bubble in someone’s phone. I don’t want to be that. That’s why I’d rather distance myself than to let you know I like you… like that. So give it a chance, will you? But I am wondering, is there another that is holding your heart? Another that broke it? That you can’t imagine yourself without? If so, I will give you space to figure out your own heart, while I figure out my life. I don’t love you. Not now. Not yet. But if we were to be closer, I know I’d fall for you harder than I ever have for other. So please, I no longer wish to be disappointed. The thought of returning to this note and signing with a heavy burdened heart really scares me. When will I be happy? When will my heart finally find peace with another? Lord, I pray to you. Please let things unfold, give me the patience to do right and not rush things. Give me the strength to overcome my anxieties and fears.
And you, R., do not disappoint me. In the future I want to reread this with happy tears or a cringing expression on my face. Okay?
Amin.