Stolen words

borrowed from Girloutdoors on Fetlife

Regular Grown-Up Sex

Has anyone actually had success finding a genuine friends-with-benefits situation?

The further I get from my last relationship, the more I realize I’m not necessarily looking for another one. At least not right now.

What I do miss are all the good parts that come with one: the friendship... and sex. The banter... and sex. The chemistry, the connection, having someone in my life who actually knows me... and sex.

Did I mention I miss the sex?

So let’s just call it what it is: I’m looking for a genuine friends-with-benefits situation.

The problem is, I have absolutely no desire to weed through all the fuckboys on here or the men who hear “friends with benefits” and think that means they’ve found an instant-access punch card to my body with none of the work required to earn it.

At this point, maybe I just need to place an ad.

FEMALE SEEKS NON-FUCKBOY FOR REGULAR GROWN-UP SEX

Must be:

able to hold an actual conversation and handle sarcasm, banter, and flirting without acting like you’ve never met a woman with a personality

available often enough that this doesn’t feel like Halley’s Comet with a hard-on

interested in actual friendship, chemistry, and rapport... not just a casual stop on your boner’s weekly commute

masculine, confident, and alpha enough to make things interesting... without being overbearing or trying to dominate me

capable of matching effort, energy, and enthusiasm

already know what you’re into sexually, because I’m not looking to be a kink tour guide for a man in his exploratory era

Automatic disqualifiers include having ever messaged me:

“hey sexy”

“wyd”

or disappearing mid-conversation and then popping back up 2–3 days later horny like nothing happened

Also disqualified:

secretly married or looking for a side piece because your wife doesn’t “understand you”

maintaining a rotating cast of vaginas

RIP my inbox 😂🤣

I’ve been around enough at this point to know what I do and don’t want.

I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I’m not looking to blend families, share a Costco card, merge Amazon Prime accounts, or start discussing where this is going over appetizers.

I’m looking for the good parts of a relationship without the expectation that we’re planning a future. Just connection, chemistry, consistency, mutual enthusiasm, and really good sex with someone I genuinely enjoy having around.

What I bring to the table is humor, chemistry, communication, reciprocity, genuine friendship, and a woman who’s already fun, adventurous, sexual, and GGG... but the right man absolutely unlocks more of it.

I know what I’m looking for can exist. I’m just not entirely convinced it exists here.

Tell me this isn’t just a horny urban legend.