All of these muscles and organs are surprisingly heavy when relaxed...

I'd started sucking my tummy in when I was a little kid because the feeling of my organs being pulled down by gravity has always grossed me out. Now that I'm in pain all of the time after a bad UTI and weird vulvo/vaginal symptoms last year, I've realised that this tension is unfortunately a big factor that I need to address.

I want to fix it if course, so I've started practicing diaphragmatic breathing, stretching, releasing and all of that, plus taking magnesium and a miorelaxant prescribed by my doctor.

Well. I can't seem to be able to accept that sense of heaviness. It drives me mad. I know that realistically my guts cannot spill out of my pelvis, but it feels exactly like that if I don't keep everything in and tight.

Do normal people just go around without noticing it? Isn't it uncomfortable? This is all so alien to me, I just can't get over how gross it feels to let those muscles relax... Anyone else here with this unusual anxiety or is it just me?