My bf is a sex addict, i'm here for advice
I’m not even sure why I’m typing this here, but I really need to understand how to help myself.
I met my boyfriend around seven and a half months ago, and we have officially been together for almost six months. Ever since then, things felt amazing. He has been the best boyfriend to me in so many ways.
You know when you connect with someone on a soul level? That’s what I felt with him. We are equally crazy, equally fun, and we just fit together. I have never met someone so similar to me, or someone who could vibe with me so well at this age. I’m 24, and I genuinely felt like I found someone rare.
A few days ago, he admitted to me that on the same day, he had gone to what he said was supposed to be a massage, but it ended up being a hand job. It was not a normal massage place. He knew it was going to be a “spicy” massage, so there is no real justification. He told me the woman started touching him, he got turned on, and he did not stop it.
After that, I found out through his claude history that he had been sexting with three people during the first month of our relationship for 1 week. Then he stopped for around two months.
Then, on April 1st, he did something again. He says he did not sext that time, but he masturbated while watching porn. In the same month, another girl who was his previous ex-date reached out to him, and he told her to connect on WhatsApp. I think he may have been planning to sext, but she was not interested, so it went nowhere.
The next month, he was talking to another girl and flirting with her. He says he was not planning to meet her, but honestly, I do not know what to believe anymore.
Then I found out that two days before the massage incident, he had reached out to another girl to sext with her. She replied late, so it did not happen. I found this out after I had already forgiven him for the massage.
At this point, I found out about the sexting, the messaging, the flirting, and everything else all together, and I became a complete mental wreck.
The thing is, I love this man. I do not know what to do.
He says he is dealing with sex addiction. He has started therapy, and he is doing the homework his therapist has given him. He has also given me full access to his privacy and accounts because he says he wants to rebuild trust.
But nothing can bring back the trust right now. When we got into this relationship, he promised me he would never cheat. He promised me all of these things, and now I feel like those promises meant nothing.
I know there are people here who are in recovery from sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior, and I really need advice.
If you are a guy, or if you have been through this yourself, does this kind of behavior ever truly stop with recovery? Or is this something that is likely to happen again?
I am trying to understand whether I should stay and support him while he works on himself, or whether I am setting myself up to be hurt again.
Posted Jun 23, 2026, 2:16 PM UTC · locked