have you moved on from seeking/expecting “normal” relationships? Thinking about ending things while ahead

i have been sort of seeing someone, and I like them, but I feel like I need to cut it off.

sex has been a problem for me for most of my adult like. sometimes it doesn’t hurt. most of the time it does, and its been getting worse. no matter how reassuring someone is, i really struggle to not feel like a disappointment. I struggle to not feel guilty. its a Lot of pressure.

i am a pretty sexually open minded and informed person, and on the intellectual level I understand that good sex does not just mean PIV etc. at the end of the day though, its hard to believe that anyone will genuinely be happy to compromise. i cant let go of the fact that if it was between me and a normal girl, nobody would ever choose me.

I am thinking it might be better to accept that between my sexual problems and low self worth, I am maybe better off letting go of my attachment to a desire for sexual and romantic connection. i am lucky because I have art, and maybe this is a sign to fill my life with that.

has anyone here done that? just thrown in the towel and moved on to trying to fill their life with other things? does the grief ever go away?