[F4A] Sex as a chore

Yes, I have.

More times than I’d like to admit, honestly.

It usually starts with that familiar little sigh in my head when he rolls over and presses against me after a long day. I’m tired, my mind is still replaying the argument we had earlier or the endless to-do list, or I’m just... not there. My body feels neutral at best. But he’s already hard, already kissing my neck in that hopeful way, whispering how much he needs me, how sexy I look even in my ratty oversized shirt. And I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want the sulky silence or the passive-aggressive comments tomorrow. So I smile, even if it doesn’t reach my eyes, and I say “Yeah... come here.”

I let him pull my sweats down. I spread my legs. I make the little moans and gasps he likes because I know the script by heart at this point. Sometimes I even get wet eventually, biology does its thing, but it’s not the same as wanting. It’s more like... performing warmth. My mind drifts to what I need to get done tomorrow, or I focus on making it good for him so it ends faster. I clench around him, arch my back, run my nails down his back the way he loves. He finishes with a groan and collapses on me, murmuring how amazing I am, how lucky he is.

And I lie there feeling... hollow. A little used, a little guilty for not being fully present, but also a weird kind of satisfied that I kept him happy. That the peace is preserved for another night.

It’s not every time. Sometimes I do get into it once we start. But there are nights where I’m just going through the motions for him. Simply because saying no feels selfish when he’s been stressed at work or we haven’t connected in a while.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of that? Or been the one who could tell she wasn’t fully into it but kept going anyway? Tell me about it... I’m curious how it feels from the other side. Open to conversations with women too.