my first successful experience!

i would consider this is my first ever ‘successful’ denial experience. so for context, ive been into denial for about 2-3 years now but have continuously failed, with my highest days being around 3-4 (definitely due to lack of self control). when doing it solo i found it difficult to really see a purpose and when i got too needy, id just give in. truthfully, i had been moving away from denial in general and just considered it not for me.

i genuinely have no clue into how i agreed to this but somehow i was super lucky that a very kind person offered to help me, where he would control my orgasms for 5 days, just enough to break my record. currently, i have lasted six days (really needing this to be the max though).

the first two days were super intense (i was so desperate when i agreed and i did nottt think it through). i couldn’t sit still, i was so achy and needy. i reallyyyy struggled. i tried distracting myself but i could feel myself leaking all day. initially, the damp patches in my panties made me so frustrated and angry at him. it was not fair that he could cum from my pain and leave me as a desperate mess.

i think the biggest change in my denial came on this day when, in my frustration, ended up convincing myself to forget the rules and touch myself (it’s why i’m currently on day 6). it was the weirdest feeling. i did everything right and i chose my favourite way (that never fails to make me cum), but it didn’t feel good at all. during the moment all i wanted was to stop. obviously got punished but was still allowed to edge for him later!

from that point, whenever he told me to do anything, it had been so unbelievably euphoric. on my own i’m definitely pretty lucky, in the sense that i can feel good really easily but i have never ever felt like that in my life. i dont even know how to describe it, kind of like a constant floating and in a haze? it just felt so amazing, my mind was so empty and all i wanted to do was listen to him which let me feel sooo so much pleasure.

in the most recent days, i feel like im being consumed, i have never wanted to please someone so badly its ALL i crave (even if he argues it doesnt feel like that haha). i need him to cum and feel good so badly. knowing i might’ve had a little to do with it makes me feel sooo warm and keeps me so satisfied. i know it’s pathetic but i can’t help but feel unbelievably good inside. also, now when i feel wet in my panties i truly loveeeeeee it soooo much. i love being reminded of him, my place and knowing im pleasing him by obeying.

other random things i’ve really enjoyed about this experience that i didn’t really expect include the psychological side of it. i’m loving feeling helpless at times and being so controlled. it’s genuinely so liberating not to think and just listen. i also feel so comfortable to embrace being submissive around him? i kind of have a bit of shame around it but he makes it so easy and i feel so safe allowing myself to feel like this. it feels so right, like im exactly where i’m supposed to be and experiencing that feeling is amazing. another thing, not too sure why but ive always struggled with the guilt that comes with touching. kind of puts me in a bad cycle but with denial i have found that i haven’t really been getting it. im guessing it’s because like im earning it more and deserving it haha. i really love that feeling.

anyways, i could speak for a long time of all the things that have changed, ive loved this experience a lot! sorry for the word dump i quite literally just typed what came to my head. basically, i used all those words just to say im having a great time and i genuinely don’t know how ill be going back to normal (im thinking of breaking the rules so he’s stuck with me a little longer 😋).