Being constantly medically abused by my mother

I’ve been suffering from chronic migraines and an autoimmun disease for more then a decade now.
My migraines come with excrutiating pain, the one where you’re praying for your death just to make that feeling go away, and other debilitating symptoms. After all these years, my body and my mind is completely depleted and I’m so exhausted I can barely function on a day to day basis. I rarely let myself lay down when I’m in agony because my mother would belittle me for being lazy (mind you, I’m a 36 yrs old woman, not dependant on her at all but living under the same roof caring for my grandmother, her mother).
Anytime I made it through an attack I should feel proud of myself and allow myself to recouperate because I just went through something traumatic. I can barely eat or sleep from the pain. Due to the lack of rest, I’m becoming more and more sick and weak, and as a result my attacks get more frequent.

Every time I have an episode and I dare to say even just a word about how bad I’m feeling my mother stands over me, she demands an answer from me how long it’s going to be like this (like I can just decide to magically heal from my illnesses), and she tries to force her MLM products on me, because according to her those are the solution to every illness out there. I always refuse to comply, so in return she rages and tells me that I just decided that I don’t ever want to get better because I enjoy being sick, and that I’m the sole reason for both my mental and physical issues. Whenever I stand up for myself she would call me all kinds of names, retarded being her favourite description.

I’ve been having constant and intense presyncope symptoms with weird and uncomfortable chest sensations with impending doom (it’s physical, not caused by a panic attack) for weeks now and I have no idea what the cause might be. It’s gotten so bad, that last Friday I was just seconds away from fainting, and she informed me that my lips turned blue. I quickly went to lay down. Of course, as always she stood over me and begin to yell at me, telling me that I’ll die soon and that it’s entirely possible to pass away even at being in my 30’s just to manipulate me to comply and take her magical supplements. She told me that I’ll eventually perish from a pulmonary embolism because I lie around so much from my migraines and other ailments. It’s a lie, as I very rarely allow myself to get through a migraine episode laying down in a dark room. I even push myself to exercise, or move around as much as I can to take care of grandmother whilst experiencing debilitating symptoms, as I’m that scared of her judgement. It all gets to me and I internalize everything she says about me. Even if I know what a strong woman I am I can’t ever actually believe that. My perception of what kind of a person I really am is absolutely skewed by her hateful words. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of persevering through such agony.

A couple of days later, as I somewhat collected myself, I told her that this was the last time I tolerated her abuse and threats of my own imminent death whenever I’m in that vulnerable and helpless state, experiencing immense physical distress, just because I don’t deal with my medical issues the right way according to her beliefs. She told me that this scenario never happened and that she always yells at me (contradition?) in desperation wanting me to finally recognize that I’m in need of immediate medical attention. She never ever wants to know what it is that I feel, what my symptoms are whenever I’m going through an episode, and she actively encourages me (trying to persuade me by manipulation) to completely refuse traditional medical treatments for alternative options, that are always the newest MLM products.) She made a huge scene, yelling, crying, raging at me. She called me a mentally unstable, retarded idiot and a bully, treating her with such disrespect despite her endless efforts to help me and everyone around her (also a lie).

This is just the tip of the iceberg. She’s been abusing me and my sister our entire life, and I feel like there’s just no way out of this situation.
As I’m typing this, I sit on the couch, feeling absolutely defeated, devastated and fearful of what’s to come.
All I want is a loving mother holding my hand whilst I’m batting this war withing my own body, telling me how proud she is of me. I don’t expect her to heal me, I don’t ask for the impossible, just her reassurance that I don’t have to go through this all alone, and that one day everything is going to be fine.