Am I the bad person for wanting to leave Situationship/ex-husband?

Me ‘30/F’ and my ‘M/52’ Situation-ship/ex-husband have been together for six years. Will be divorced for one year in August. We still love together. We still do the relationship thing we got divorced due to me cheating but he also has done some wrongdoing in other relationship also, we had a polyamory relationship at one point with another female. It ended valley between me and her but he still wanted the relationship with her and I was 100% against it. They still communicated even after two years. I got pregnant shortly after the polyamory relationship ended, and I introduced our child and postpartum me cheated now skip a year later and we are still struggling with trust on both ends he recently came up to me and said hey I am talking to somebody that I would like to add into our relationship and I’ve told him in the past that I want me and him to be 110% before we even think of adding somebody into the relationship he doesn’t listen. It’s his way or no way which really hurts me. He puts zero effort into the relationship as I am trying to put all effort into it to rebuild what I fucked up I’m at the point now where I want to just walk away but we have two wonderful children together and I am a stay at home Mom I love who he is, but I do not love what we’ve become. I’m struggling a lot and coping with the fact that he wants to add another person when he doesn’t even put in the effort with me he is out twice a week for guys nights and then he’ll throw in an extra day here and there during the week so I may see him a very short period of time he owns his own company and I’m not upset at the fact that he has to work hard to pay all the bills, but some of it is he’s allowed to do whatever he wants, but I can’t some of it is he holds all the money and all the finances I wanna get a job but childcare is so expensive. I wanna get maybe a third shift job because then he’ll be home with the kids, but he was so against that but he’s not home at night to begin with sometimes he comes home late 10 and 11 o’clock and he’s sleeping at night both my children sleep through the night so he doesn’t have to worry about rough nights with the kids. I only need some advice.