I concluded therapy...but not the way you think!

Today I (24M) reached to a conclusion of therapy, in short all my circumstances doesn't allow me to continue therapy not any time soon even though I desperately need it...

So about 11 months ago I reached out to this female therapist who's very good and I know her so I had a tiny bit of trust in her and told her my whole story in detail asking for help (I got SA 10 years ago and never recovered) the very first session I felt very good and felt better after many years of constant suffering! I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression with traits of OCD and she prescribed me medication and we had 5 more sessions...

Then we reached to a point which CBT became mandatory so she referred me to another therapist but unfortunately due to my busy schedule and the fact that the first semester finals began (first year law student) I couldn't continue, then that therapist or let's say the whole free program ended so I really couldn't continue with them...

2 days ago I contacted her, she told me she actually got transferred to another hospital (a mental institution this time) in a city near me so she's closer and has an excellent colleague who she knows would really help, after I learned the fact that she's now working in a mental institution I explained to her the reasons why I seriously can't go:

1. Due to the fact that I'm in financial trouble and has financial obligations I must work overtime so I have no weekends or break days or free time that allows me to go

2. Due to the fact that I have severe trust issues, even if I wasn't tired and was free I will struggle to accept opening up to someone else and starting all over again

3. We live in a society that has HUGE stigma and basically label people who suffer from the simplest mental health issues as "crazy" for the rest of their lives and since I'm literally building a career that is 90% reputation, even the tiniest remote risks of being spotted in mental health institution is absolutely unacceptable

She explained how mandatory it is to have one on one physical sessions instead of online especially due to the new developments like my addiction and the fact that I started to smoke to relief some stress, and insisted on me to keep trying to go, I told her I don't know what to do the situation is very tight and I have no control over it, I thought therapy would end because it would fail for someone like me but surprisingly it has to stop for reasons beyond my control

I'm constantly stressed because of work, university, family, financial and health pressures and recently I started to become extremely exhausted because wouldn't you know carrying a lot for too long is tiresome, who would've guessed? Hahaha

Why am I posting this post? Idk I guess all of this stress and exhaustion is making me do questionable actions, either ways thank you for sitting through this oddly contradicting rant