Heyyy, I need an objective assessment of an extremely confusing situation in my dating phase that is honestly draining me emotionally right now. I strongly suspect she has an avoidant attachment style, but to be completely honest, I’m a bit unsure.

Here is a quick breakdown of the situation:

The Backstory (2025)

We first met in July 2025. The dating phase lasted about 1.5 months; we only saw each other once but texted every single day. Looking back, I was definitely chasing her a lot. In September 2025, she ended things via a WhatsApp message. She said she had too many worries and problems and needed to settle into her new chapter in life first (she had just started university). However, she emphasized how great I was and said she’d love to get to know me again like this in the future.

The Comeback & Intensive Phase (March – May 2026)

Out of nowhere, she reached out again in mid-March 2026 and asked how things were going. As I found out later, her best friend (who she roommates with) had convinced her during a car ride conversation to text me. Her friend had been a huge fan of mine since the beginning and had criticized her decision to cut contact back then.

Initially, things went great: we had a total of 7 dates. On the 5th date, we baked at my place and cuddled for the first time. On the 6th date, I met her friends, and afterwards, we cuddled in her bed again. We started texting each other every day using heart emojis.

The Problem: Almost all the initiative to hang out came from me. She was extremely busy with university, friends, and family, which is why we only saw each other every 7 to 10 days. At some point, setting up dates became incredibly difficult because she didn’t want to commit to fixed plans. She always wanted to "play it by ear" because she didn't know exactly when she’d be free. But whenever we did see each other, it was beautiful. During this time, I also told her that I really, really like her and that she matters to me (she is my first real dating experience).

The Incident / Crossing Boundaries (Late May)

Since her exam phase was coming up and she had already warned me that she’d have barely any time and would be under extreme stress, I got anxious that the connection might just fizzle out.

I asked her for a phone call to talk about my anxiety. I also told her how much I wanted to help her with some of her tasks so she’d have less stress during exams. She declined, explaining that she prefers to handle her tasks alone.

A few days later, we both happened to be in a neighboring city on the same night. She was there by train, I was there by car. I desperately wanted to drive her home to help her out. She declined three times, saying it was too complicated right now and that she had already arranged her way home. I ignored her "no" because I thought she just didn’t want to be a bother. I called her multiple times and almost pressured her, insisting that I could easily pick her up.

She reacted annoyed and texted: "I don't get why you won't drop it when I say no, please chill a bit." At that exact moment, I truly realized I had crossed a line. An hour later, once I was home, I sent her a long apology via voice memo. She replied with a voice memo of her own, explaining that she needs room to breathe, and when someone doesn't accept her "no," she completely loses interest and pulls the plug. She said she felt like I was trying to do everything perfectly, which was starting to feel inauthentic to her and only created pressure. I apologized again in a short voice memo, owning up to my mistake. She replied shortly with: "Got it, okay."

The Current Situation (June)

Right after the incident, she reactivated her Hinge profile (she even accidentally liked an acquaintance of mine) and has been following a ton of new guys on Instagram ever since.

After 5 days of radio silence following the incident, she texted me and asked if we could talk. When I agreed and asked when she’d like to talk, she pushed the conversation off due to her stress and said she would reach out again the following week (it has now been over 2 weeks).

At the same time, throughout June, she has been sending me minutes-long voice memos crying her eyes out about drama with her roommates, her extreme exam stress, and family pressure.

My question to you:

Is she an avoidant person currently using a so-called "deactivation strategy," or did she simply lose interest in me after this incident? And how would you handle yourself in this situation right now?