My boyfriend cheated, developed a drug addiction, blamed me for exposing it to his family, and now we're in no contact. How do I cope with the uncertainty?

Hello,

I would really appreciate your perspective on a situation I am going through.

I am 24 years old, and my boyfriend is 25. We were in a 7-year long-distance relationship. Looking back, it seems that he first became involved with drugs and unhealthy influences, and later developed an affair while we were still together.

For the past year, I was emotionally and mentally struggling because of his behavioral changes. He became inconsistent, emotionally distant, stopped putting effort into our relationship, and I felt like I was carrying the relationship alone. I was constantly confused and hurt, but I did not know the real reason behind his changes.

Eventually, I told him that I could not continue like this anymore. He asked me not to leave and said that we should talk, that we could work through things, and that he had made mistakes but would make things right. We arranged to meet and talk in person.

When we met, he was not having clear answers for my questions. I asked him about the girl I had some doubts about that I saw on social media, and I told him that if you developed any feelings for her, it's okay, please admit it. I am ready to forgive, let's start this freshly. But he denied any romantic relationship with that girl. However, I saw even more things in his phone that made me doubt him. I left the meeting even more confused.

After coming home, I contacted that girl for better clarity because I wasn't mentally okay, and that conversation was really shocking. I came to know that they were having a relationship for a year and were living together for the past one month. I was completely shattered and felt like my whole world collapsed. She thought that she was his actual partner, but he was maintaining two relationships.

When I talked to that girl, I came to know that he was using drugs and doing several such activities before they started their relationship. I was numb, shocked, and shivering.

I messaged him that night. He admitted his mistake, said sorry, broke the relationship with the other girl, and told me that he is the worst and that I deserve someone better, so I should move on.

But I wasn't ready. I really wanted him. I know such a decision shouldn't be made in one night, but I still felt like I could forgive him and start afresh. At the same time, I felt the situation was very serious, so I felt like I couldn't deal with this alone.

His uncle is a very trustworthy and responsible person, so I informed him about what had happened, hoping that I could help get him out of this bad loop. His uncle told me that I should never admit that I had shared these things with him.

But the day before, I had already asked my boyfriend about sharing this with his uncle. At that time, he was angry and told me, "You should never do that. I am 25 years old and I know how to handle this. What can he do? Will he advise me or send me to a therapist?"

Then I told him, "Okay, don't worry. I will not share this with anyone."

But he is now sure that I shared everything with his uncle. He thinks I took revenge on him and exposed him. His mother, uncle, and sister came to know about everything, and they cried in front of him. (He has an avoidant attachment style.)

He messaged me calling me a lot of bad words. He threatened that he would die he told me that I spoiled his life, I made him a cannabis addict and playboy infront of his family.But I only did this for his better future, for the betterment of our relation, so that everything gets resolved.I was fully depressed,I can't imagine him with another girl.A lot of bad image of him with that girl keeps on popping in my head, but still I was ready to forgive him, because I love him that much.But he blocked me from everywhere.Now his mother, uncle and brother contacts me,to support me mentally.I can call them whenever I wanted.But now we both(me and boyfriend) is in no contact.I don't know what's going to happen.I want reconcile but he is like he broke up with me,but now he is in complete stress, because he got exposed.His family is taking him to oman,where his father has business and they told me to be patient and happy,after he reaches there let him cool his anger and process everything and everything will be fine.But I don't know what's going to happen, I am struggling with the affair thing and the uncertainty.I feel like he is the one whom I mostly wanted during this time of betrayal trauma to overcome this infedility thing,but now I am okey with keeping no contact,but the uncertainty of where this is relationship is going is killing me.