I’m feeling really annoyed with my ex and his communication with me, and have no idea what to say to this.

I just feel like I’m being put through it.

And would like some advice on what to reply, if at all.

So long story short, my ex and I broke up around 3 weeks go. (Both early 30s). I initiated but it wasn’t a serious conversation, more like an impulsive emotional moment, changed my mind intensely, he said he agreed and was set on breaking up now despite my change of mind.

I spent about a week begging, pleasing, being really emotional. I love him so much and I guess I had suspected he wasn’t really “in it long term” and wanted my feelings proved wrong.

Anyway, he told me his head always wins over his heart and was so certain on this decision. I found it too hard to talk still.

Important to note, we had a wedding abroad for my sibling we were supposed to attend to (I am abroad on this wedding right now), as well as a holiday after that we agreed to split the cost while in a relationship. We had to cancel it and also cancel his place at the wedding. He still wanted half his money.

About a week after we broke up and weren’t talking, he ended up texting me saying he was struggling. That he came home every day after work and cried. He didn’t want to lose me forever. He loved me so much. He didn’t know what to do. His heart was being pulled one way, his head the other. I was so confused because I had apologised at this point for anything I did in terms of impulsivity, had been mature about it, told him I believed we had gave up too soon.

And he agreed and said he needed space to think. Because both decisions were “heavy on his mind”. We agreed to take space until after the wedding as he knew how important it was for me to be in the right mind to go, since both my parents were not going (one has passed, one had cancer) and I was now representing my sibling alone. As well as the only person without a plus one now. So we said let’s meet up when I’m back. And we can talk. We said let’s just not speak until after it.

So fast forward three weeks of silence.
I’m now here on this wedding. I’m enjoying myself. Posting insta stories.

I get a message from him saying he’s spent “hours and hours” on the phone with the vacation company and managed to get most of our money back. How stressful it’s been for him. The message is formal and he says he wishes my family well and hopes the wedding will go okay. There’s nothing similar to how we talked three weeks ago. In fact, the message above his is his last message saying he loves me and us calling each other our pet names, being emotional. And it looks so different.

The worst part is that during our break up, when he had made up his mind the first time, he typed “heyyy” to me, which he never does. And then when we called after and were being loving again, he asked me “did you know I wasn’t going to change my mind because of the way I said hey, I was trying to be civil and neutral” and I said yes and we’d joked about it.

This same message he’s sent while I’m at abroad yesterday starts with heyyy so I feel like he’s deliberately trying to get in my head to say… I know we said we wanted space, I was emotional, don’t get your hopes up, I’ve not changed my mind and we’re done.

Which I feel is so cruel, but maybe I’m just anxious but he knows I’m here trying to get in the best mind for my sibling and surrounded by love and happiness. Especially since he went so back and forth with me and got my hopes up. I really did think from the way we were talking before he might need some space to chill and realize his feelings can’t be ignored as that’s what essentially he was saying. And now my emotions have been rocked with this message. On the second day of this trip. Which is five days long.

I haven’t replied to his message. It’s also annoying as it’s about money and a lot of my friends think I don’t even owe him anything as the terms of our relationship changed. I feel like I do want to send something but it just sucks. All of it.

What should I reply?? So far I haven’t said anything and just read the message as I was genuinely enjoying myself yesterday.

I feel sick at the thought of going home and having to have a conversation I don’t want to have. I feel so put through it and worthless and that im also being tested almost to talk politely with someone I’m heartbroken over.

Any advice?