Is it just me, or is it easier to believe a trans woman than a trans man when they say they're trans?

(Aplies to transfem vs. transmasc people too)

I might be projecting my own insecurities here, but I genuinely believe I'm seeing a pattern. I have the feeling (NOT a concrete theory) that, in somewhat progressive spaces, it's easier to belive a trans woman/transfem person that she's trans, than it is to believe a trans man/transmasc person that he is. Let me explain:

If a transfem person claims to be trans, most "somewhat progressive" spaces will quickly accept that. If a transmasc person says he's trans, the same "somewhat progressive" spaces that would immediately believe a trans woman may struggle to take said transmasc person seriously, especially if they are young. People may be "concerned" that it is a case of social contagion, a self-fulfilling prophecy, a tiktok trend, a tumblr aesthetic etc. I've obviously seen trans women be invalidated in horrible ways, but not with the same specific arguments: the arguments used by these "somewhat progressive" spaces to invalidate trans men. My hypothesis is that trans women are taken more seriously in these spaces because being transfem is seen as this huge risk you're taking, something you can't come back from, something so big that it MUST be meaningful, because no "man" would put on a dress if "he" wasn't serious about being a woman. Meanwhile, trans men are treated as if they didn't know what they're doing, as if they were confused teenage girls who need their phones taken away. Maybe because they ARE seen as girls, and girls are not taken seriously.

This all comes from my own personal observations and may not reflect reality, which is why I'm asking people here if they think these are accurate. I've seen this a lot in my family: both me and my brother are transmasc, I think. I somewhat came out at 14 and was horribly punished for it. Lots of crying and screaming every day for two years until I "grew out of it". My brother came out some 4 years later, and again, my family went crazy over it. Cue the constant crying and screaming. One of the things they told us was that it was nothing more than an internet trend, a social phenomenom, an attempt to be cool and trendy and unique. I've been reconnecting with my male side since the beginning of this year, but I still feel very unsure about everything.

As well as punishing us, our parents mocked my brother's transmasc friends to the moon and back, calling them pretentious teenage girls, so it wasn't just a family thing. I was very surprised to learn my mother had female trans friends, and younger female trans students she respected very much. Of course, I had already realized the arguments they threw at us were the standard arguments all transphobic parents spew, but only then did I notice they had completely different ideas on trans women. And then I started noting this posture was actually very common among cis people who call themselves allies (i.e "somewhat progressive spaces"). I wonder if it's because an AMAB person feminizing themselves is not seen as "cool" or "trendy" the way transphobes think an AFAB person masculinizing themselves is. Does this make sense?

I also can't help but notice most transmeds, at least back in the day, were binary trans men. I don't doubt they exist, but so far I've never seen a female transmed. I also haven't seen """""tucute""""" trans women be harrassed by transmed the way """""tucute""""" trans men are. I don't doubt that happens! But I admit I'd be surprised if I turned out to be wrong.

I'm obviously not saying trans women have any sort of privilege over trans men. They do not. I just think some specific experiences differ noticeably and I'd love to know if I'm wrong here, because it's a very flimsy hypothesis that I've never tested. I hope I'm not being insensitive here. I'm really open to being told I'm wrong lol

On a more self-centered level, I wonder if this is also a factor that prevents me from being more confident in my identity. I worry that I'm just trying to be trendy and special all the time. I wonder if trans girls feel similarly. It would make sense to me to think they don't, because I've never seen anyone claim transfemininity is cool and trendy (other than maybe trans women themselves, jokingly), but I'm not a trans woman so I don't actually know. I might be completely wrong here. I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts!