Hi everyone. I apologize in advance for my english. It is not my first language.

# Context:

I am currently going through a combination of really tough life processes.  
From one hand I am very depressed, I am also a recovering addict with 11 months clean, I am also seeing a drastic reduction in income (I am a freelancer) and I feel I will have zero income soon. Since I am really depressed I just feel this is beyond me. I am hanging by a thread and I feel everything in my life will collapse. I dont really have a support system.

# Inquiry:

**What is going to happen in the end with all this situation, how is everything going to end up for me? What is the culmination of this fight?**

# Spread:

**I used an open reading:** I drew each card individually and stopped until I had this spatial disposition that I find very interesting. Two minor arcana flank a symmetrical disposition of 3 major arcana, feminine and masculine together looking towards androgynous in the center.  My intuition tells me I should read this from the flanks to the center rather than left to right:

# Interpretation:

***Left Flank***

**7 of wands:** A struggle, a fight against many opponents, the need to hold my position. This is me every day since recovery. Fighting against depression, procrastination, my financial instability, my old identity that used to lean into substance use to hold a position of recovery and sobriety. In a way I feel I have been fighting for my life, every single day is a struggle. The fight has been constant and wearisome, and I don’t know if i will succeed or loose.

**The empress:** There is a future potential (and some glimpses in present day) for effortless self-care, for the nourishment of others and myself, for a creative and fertile life that is worth living. I connect deeply with this card as an aspiration. The Empress is something I want to be, and I know I need to fully develop her energy to be happy. Also my chart ruler is Venus so there is an astrological connection with The Empress too. But today I feel far from The Empress today, because I am struggling to much, and sometimes in the struggle I fail to fully care of myself like I would like to and I still engage in harmful behaviors. But someday I will be able to take care of myself and live that creative life I want to live.

***Right Flank***

**5 of Pentacles**: There is instability and a sense of financial and material scarcity: This has been me for the last 6 months or so. My income has been lower and lower everyday. No savings and lots of debt. This card also represent the lack of a support system. This sense of scarcity is increased due to my depression that is not letting me take as much action as I would like to do to adapt to change and find other alternatives and sources of revenue while I keep myself sober

**The Emperor**: Order, discipline, structure and will to take action and conquer. I know there is also a potential for this energy in me, but the energy feels very far today too. I have had some periods of discipline but this discipline always break down. The financial struggle has me in a paralyzed state, and depression makes getting out of bed harder. But eventually I will be able to make my moves to conquer this fight. 

***The center:***

**The World:** The culmination of a complex process in harmonious and balanced ways. This card feels to me like this fight is ending as a whole. In a good way. Both depression and financial stability will come to an end allowing me to start a brand new period in life. 

**As a whole:** The part of me that is related to health, self-care, and self-nourishment eventually will look away from the daily struggle I have been experiencing for months. Also the part of me that is related to order, discipline, administration eventually will look away from scarcity. Both parts are joining in a process of integration and culmination. Self care, nourishment, and discipline work all together. I feel this spread is powerful. I got a feminine and a masculine major arcana cards looking towards an androgynous card. (My understanding is that the figure in the world is an hermaphrodite). Meaning this struggle and sense of scarcity is coming to an end opening a brand new chapter for me.

I am trying, I am doing my best and as much as I can. So this spread feels refreshing and validating. I need a second opinion though. Maybe reading this from the edges to the center is wishful thinking?

Thank you for your time and attention.

**This is the CBD Yoav Ben Dov Marseille Tarot. US Game Systems.**

Help: Should I read this left to right or from the edges to the center?