I just lost my job and teetering over the edge, what do I do?

Before this post starts, this is not relationship advice, this is not career advice, and I don’t want help to end my life, trying to avoid that the best I can. I want to know what I should do with feeling like this because the only way outside of a clinical setting is chasing the bottom of a bottle.

I literally just lost my job today. I’m suicidally depressed. I did in fact go chasing the bottom of the bottle. My partner ended up having to take care of me like I was a helpless child.

Here’s the problem, we have a child. A 15 month old that I am essentially putting direct danger by getting this drunk around.

I don’t know what to do. I’m used to just drowning my sorrows, in alcohol and drugs. I’ve always either done this or been put on a psych hold due to the danger to myself.

I feel bad doing the psych hold as well. I don’t want to leave my partner alone with our child for days on end. It feels like I’m abandoning them.

Any advice is appreciated, I just woke up from being passed out drunk and I already want to reach for the bottle again. I really just want to be okay.