Trying to heal but how when I miss him

Me 25f and my ex 28M who might be an avoidant broke up with me 3 weeks ago or more and blocked me everywhere.

We have been talking for 9 months and went to my country twice. We spent everyday talking, watching movies together and playing games together. I am so attached to him, I love him a lot and I wonder how could it be so easy for him to throw me away like I wasn’t even apart of his life.

He has been already pulling away mentally before the break up and I felt it, I was so anxious that when he finally said it I just broke down and reacted bad emotionally.

This is honestly the worst I have been, im so disinterested in life and everything just takes a lot of energy.

(His reason was he wants to find himself and he feels stressed with our relationship. Overwhelmed, uncertain, he wasn’t fulfilled, that he craves excitement and novelty with his adhd)

I don’t think these type of people know what a genuine love is, or have the capacity to even truly love, I know that they crave love but these type of people wants the short term fun.

The beginning of our relationship was intense, the novelty and excitement, he was head over heels, the way he wanted to talk to me so much, posted me on his socials, talked about to his friend how lucky he is with me. We talked about our future how he said that Im the one, that I was the first one he thought of having kids and marriage. When we were together he would give me so much affection and act of service. And I felt safe, I believed him, trusted him, loved him. I was always there, I was always available for him.

He went from super loving to being distant and to being like a dead person (ghost) never heard from him again got blocked. He literally just did a 360 flip.

I am grieving a person who is still alive but doesn’t exist in my life anymore.

I finds it hard to unlove him, my brains is thinking of all the highs.

I want my spark back, i want to function normally, healing is taking so long for me.

After the break up, Do you guys feel scared to date again? Bcuz that means there is a possibility of going through this much pain again.