Friends? Bad at reading people.

I moved to upstate New York last year. Met a guy in January at the gym. We use similar machines around the same time a few days a week and we got talking. After a month, he shared he was bi. We talked about some things that bother him, mostly gay friends criticizing him saying men can’t be bi. I did not share my sexual orientation, and he didn’t ask. We started hanging out outside the gym, meeting for lunch, and then sometimes after work. We get a long really well, have a lot in come with work and health, etc. We are both masculine, I guess in the gay communities we would be labeled bears, closer to musclebears. We are both in our early 50s. I work from home right now, so I don’t commute. He has a small commute. We both work about 50 hours a week, and spend 10 hours a week at the gym. He is in a long term open relationship with a woman. He has sex with men, but does not stick with just one guy like he does with this one female relationship which is a live in relationship. Like a marriage, just not official. There is the background.

At this point, we meet for food once a week. Different day each week. Sometimes, miss a week if life is busy. He shared a lot of personal info, including some sexual info, like position, size, stuff like that. We both like similar sports. We have similar careers. I’m wondering if this is a friendship that will grow or will it remain the way it is now? Am I miss reading something? I started to wonder if he was attracted to me and waiting to see if I am interested in sex. He makes a lot of eye contact when we talk and he listens and remembers things I share with him that are personal. Here is what makes me question this. I have to be the one to ask if we are getting together each time we do. If I don’t, I won’t hear back from him for a bit. When I ask, he is always eager to get together, like “yes, how about Thursday?” Or “Work is too busy right now, definitely next week on Wednesday.” It is never just a “no”. So, I initiate, and I’m ok with it, but wondering if I’m not reading something correctly. He will also spend hours at a restaurant talking and even stop somewhere to talk longer, sometimes. I have not hinted what kind of relationship I want, I’m moving forward as good friends would, hopping it develops into a close friendship. If he directly asked if I wanted something physical, then I would tell him how I feel, so I’m not trying to hide the “yes/no” answer. I don’t want to play games, and not initiate getting together for food, and then see how long it takes for him to initiate. I’m not saying that is wrong, it’s just not for me.

Usually when people don’t initiate, that’s not a good sign, but this guy always wants to have a date set once I’ve asked. We pay for our own meals. He spends a lot of time with me when we get together. But it feels stuck. He talks about doing more, like golf or axe throwing, but it never happens. What do you guys think? Is he being friendly because we have the gym in common? Could this just be the way he is with his friends? Could he want something physical, but wants me to initiate? I’m asking because this friendship is important to me. We get along great and have a lot in common. If he doesn’t really want a strong friendship, then I would figure out or find a way to ask him without damaging the friendship. I’m not good at reading people, especially people that might be attracted to me. I’m terrible at signs and hints. Making friends in your 50s is a lot different than when we are younger. It feels harder to do. People are set in their ways, or already have a good set of friends. Thank you for your opinions.