Does anyone else live life out of spite?

(M24) Since I was a kid I showed appreciation for both boys and girls and never paid attention to that assuming it was totally normal. As I grew up I started to notice that it was not as I started to see things like discrimination, isolation and so on about non heterosexual people. When I started to pay more attention to my surroundings I heard things like: that's a sin, why they want this and that, that is not natural, etc. When I was a teenager I tried to stop thinking about my sexuality and felt guilty like I was defective. Now that I'm an adult I abandoned religion and hinted to my parents not only how much I hate organized religions but also that I'm not heterosexual. If there is a god the mere act of waking up and not feeling guilty must be a big middle finger to such a sadistic deity. I'm certain that I'll never be as social as my little brother but not hiding is also a middle finger to people who want me to hide.