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Can of black olives and a rant hah.

I (30m) recently found out that my wife has been unfaithful and is now wanting to leave our relationship. We have been together for about a decade, married for 7 years. I don't know what I would do without her. She's my life and always has been. I struggled and gave into a mental marijuana addiction for most of our married relationship and i let it make me lazy as hell. Not long after we were married, I lost both of my grandmothers, my job, and found out that she was talking to another man. I let it all beat me down into a sad man who just "needed" to get stupidly high at all times. I got to where I was afraid to leave the house, afraid to talk to anyone and afraid to try cause I figured I'd fail. I didn't work much at all during this time, while she did. I went through a handful of jobs and they always didn't work out for more than a few months. Most of the years she had told me many many times that she didn't mind and I wasn't a burden to her. There was only a handful of times that she was honest and told me that she wanted me to work again, and once was very emotional. I lost the job I got after and then gave up not much later. I would always try to be a good husband emotionally and listen to her, tell her she's loved nonstop etc. I know I didn't show it well enough with the effort to get back up after I let myself get knocked down. She recently told me she wasn't happy and after I asked if there was another man, found out there is again and she hasn't stopped talking to him. She seems deadset to not want to save us and what we had. Part of me gets it. I've been clean for almost 3 months, and got a new job now and I can't stand thinking about what I used to think was my "normal self". I can finally go out and talk to people without being on the verge of a panic attack. I can finally work in public (not work from home like most the jobs were), I can finally have energy to clean and help our home that's been dirty for most of our life together. We have 4 dogs and I can finally take them on long walks and be excited to find new things. She seems to be stuck on the opinion that we are too late to save. I really wish I could change her mind but it's not mine to change. I will always love her with everything I have. I want my beautiful wife back in MY arms. I've struggled with... Ya know the bad thoughts.. most of my life and they are coming back full storm but I won't get high to put them down. I want to be the best man I can for her, but if she stays gone, I don't know what could even drive me anymore. I really don't want to live without her. Sorry for the long post, and thank you to all that read it. I don't have many friends after being an agoraphobic hermit for years hah, and I needed to rant. This seemed like a safe enough space.

Added info; she did always smoke with me and continues now as well, we don't have any kids yet, and she's been staying at friends houses and ghosting me

Wishing I wasnt too late