When’s the right time to start giving dating a try?

Advice

I (22) get a lot of advice from friends to just start dating and gain experience while I’m young but I don’t allow myself to? Not because I don’t crave love, I very much do and fantasize about meeting my future husband every night but I feel like I’m not ready yet. I consider myself attractive and get hookups easily but I would say I lack self esteem and am terrified to approach guys irl. I also come from a homophobic country but was raised in the United States but living back in my native country again (long story). For the past 2 years I’ve been very busy working full time and spearheading a nonprofit side project while building my portfolio for my masters. Most of my friends, gay and straight, have already had relationship experience by now and I’ve only had a very short term boyfriend when I was like 18 and some situationships when I was younger (stupid young people shit).

I decided to fully commit to my career to build an escape plan so I can have more career options/legal immigration pathways by the time I hit my 30s but shittttt does it get lonely. Grindr is fun but ofc hookups are temporary. Most of my friends are back in America and while I do have some friends here even queer ones, I’m kinda introverted and too busy to make trips to the city where they live. I’d say I’m more socially American and I’m only really attracted to other Westerners because of more shared upbringing and similarities so I’ve never been inclined to date in my native country. The men here are gorgeous but most struggle with bad internalized homophobia and living a fulfilling queer relationship here is really hard. But idk if I should just give it a shot or just lock in on my goals till they’re achieved and not lose balance. I’d say I’m doing pretty good for myself now and I’m likely going back to the states or a different country for my masters but I also don’t want to feel like I’m “wasting” my 20s by being too uptight? I figured just waiting will save me the emotional turmoil of facing heartbreak or lose direction of my goals once a man get involved.

Posted Jun 25, 2026, 6:59 AM UTC

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