he was cheating on me lusting over girls online all three years we were together and i might kill myself

literally only posting this because i’m currently sitting in bed with like 50 mixed pills in front of me and my notes folded next to me. i haven’t eaten in three days and im becoming more underweight, if i think about the situation too much i throw up. at this point im just vomiting redbull and stomach acid and my body is so tired. my heart physically aches so bad. there were so many girls and none of them looked like me. i have a cat, she’s sitting outside my room because i don’t want her around me while i do it. my family would take good care of her i hope. i can’t imagine touching and being with someone else, ive lost the ability to love. i’m worried for my best friend, but they have a partner they love so i know they’ll have support. i’m really struggling to not be selfish