A relationship changed me and I don’t know how to become myself again

A little backstory:

Ever since my last relationship with a girl, she was dry and just didn't like me that much, I kept pushing on it thinking she would change and she just didn't until I ultimately got ghosted. She already did ghost me a few months before this one and she got back w/ me and said she regretted it. I took her back because I really liked her, but after that she acted uninterested again thus leading up to this. I could go on about this for hours, but I'll keep it at that.

After that I lost the interest to talk to other people. Even my friends who I would stay up past midnight talking to I stopped because I just wasn't interested enough and just tired. Back then even before my relationship with this girl I considered myself a good person to talk to because I could talk to someone for the whole day and we both would get hooked on it. Like I just knew what to say. I thought things would go well with this girl too, but most if not everytime she would shut me down so convos don't even last.

The worst thing is she would often avoid me in real life, even tho we we're in a "relationship" and I tried dealing with it hoping she would change one day. Looking back now I was a clown. Overtime I got used to her acting distant and I think I adopted that trait partly because she would sometimes pull me in and then push me away so I thought that works, right?

I just don't know what to do and I feel like that relationship ruined me. Being a "fun" person to talk to was one of my things even outside of relationships, now it's just gone and I want to get it back.