I forgot how much it hurts to be abandoned until it happens again

I don’t really know what to say. It just hurts soo much. To feel like you’re not good enough. To try and be vulnerable and still be left behind. I’ve not felt this in soo long. It physically hurts. My chest feels like it’s caving in on itself. I feel so alone and I want someone to come save me but I know nobody’s coming now. I just feel like such a burden and soo pathetic for needing others when they don’t have the capacity for me. It’s just a story that keeps repeating over and over for me. And the worst part is logically I can tell myself it gets better. But emotionally I can’t believe it.