Struggling to switch into a soft Dom mindset

I’m a 46-year-old woman seeing a younger man in a friends-with-benefits dynamic. We enjoy exploring BDSM together, and we’ve built a lot of trust. We sometimes explore more advanced forms of play, and he especially enjoys when I take a more dominant role. The challenge is that mentally I’m naturally much more submissive. I love the idea of being a soft Dom for him, and I know he’d enjoy it too. He likes it when I guide the dynamic, give him direction, and then praise or reward him afterwards. I actually find that dynamic really appealing. The problem is that I just can’t seem to switch into that mindset. By the time we’ve already had an intense scene, my brain almost feels “full,” and I struggle to transition into confidently leading afterwards. Giving instructions, starting roleplay, or staying in character feels awkward, even though I genuinely want to do it. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you learn to switch into a gentle, confident dominant mindset without feeling like you were acting? Are there any books, courses, exercises, or communities that helped?