Why is anyone just lucky

Why is it that someone is just lucky to be born into a rich family, why does someone not think about where to go every day, and do they even have the opportunity to study? Why is it just lucky not to think about money and ways to make money? Why is it that someone is just lucky to be born conventionally beautiful and with a beautiful figure?

Why the fuck am I just unlucky, why the fuck was I just unlucky to be born? Fuck, you know, just being born and living a happy life, or being born in a third-class country, not living, but existing and thinking about suicide every single day.

I think I'm sick. I've just been there all my life, I don't want to become something, I don't dream of a happy future. Shit, even as a kid, being a less happy kid, I didn't want to become something, I never dreamed of being something, working in a certain profession.

And now I just realize I don't have a chance for a happy future, moving somewhere, I'll stay to rot in this miserable country. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't want to do anything anymore. My family doesn't have the money to pay for me to go to a normal university, and I haven't had the fucking energy to do anything since I was born. I'm writing this to distract myself, so I don't scratch my whole body into my blood and pull all the hair out of my head. I want to kill myself. Maybe I'll be lucky in my next life.