i (17F) was groomed online from ages 9-14 by multiple different people

i haven't talked about this with a therapist as much as i would like, but i have spoken about it before vaguely and given a couple specific scenarios i remember.

i have always grown up with fairly unrestricted internet access, and i started watching porn at age 7/8 because of this. i remember first going on omegle when i was 9, and continuing to go on it for the next few years. older men would ask me to take off my clothes or show them my body and i don't know why but i did and i kept doing it because they gave me so much praise and attention for it. i started self harming around this time too, it started because i would get so angry or irritated and i didn't know how to express my feelings. around age 12, i made an account on twitter and started posting on & interacting with "minor nsfw twitter" where minors and pedophiles interact with each other in ways. i was active there for 2-3 years off and on and sent multiple photos and videos of myself to multiple different pedophiles who asked for them. i'm very sure these photos are still online somewhere.

it wasn't until i was 14/15 that i decided i didn't want to keep doing this anymore, so i stopped completely. unfortunately, i ended up talking to a few more adults over snapchat but i have stopped and i don't plan on going back.

i feel so much guilt and self-blame about all of this because i knew exactly what i was getting myself into but i couldn't stop. i feel disgusting when i remember what i did and since victim blaming is so common when it comes to grooming victims, i feel like i can't tell people about what happened to me because they're just going to think i'm stupid for putting myself in those situations. there are certain words i can't even read without getting that gross feeling again. it's so hard to imagine myself in normal relationships because i feel like i'll be too sexual and make them think they can do whatever they want with me or make them think i'm using them for sex when that's the last thing i would ever want to do.
i just need someone to tell me it's not my fault