42 (F) Friday afternoon, struggling with my thoughts

On my second marriage, two teen daughters from the first. My husband is vanilla and sweet and tame and smallish and passive. He doesn’t fully understand me, my past, my libido, my cravings. He’s a great step dad but our chemistry physically has always been off. We’ve grown apart and I catch myself resenting everything about him, including being in the same room with him.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with these feelings. Talking to me here, go out alone more - shipping, bars. I can’t stop thinking about all that’s available out there. All the men, the hard dicks. My 20s were essentially one big series of one night stands. I’m addicted to attention I shouldn’t be having. From men. From the dirty messages I receive, the thrill s d tingle they put into me.

I’m playing with myself in my bed as I read the dirty comments about what assertive strangers want to do with me. Crazy wet.

I’m sorry, it’s been a long week. Felt like getting some things all my chest,