Something really wrong with my libido

Ive been on T for 4 months and my libido has skyrocketed and it has kind of taken over my brain. Before T when i thought about sex i was always more into the thought of being a top and the thought of bottoming has always grossed me out plus im just not into the idea. But lately ive been so horny ive been thinking of penetrative sex and i even messaged some men near me to possibly meet up and i feel so confused and gross. This isnt me at all and i dont want to be thinking of this when i know that if i were to have sex with someone i love and with a clear mind for example i know id be topping.

I hate the kind of men ive been messaging and i hate the idea of bottoming so why the hell am i doing this?