My story on homosexuality

Hello! I've never really used reddit before so i don't know how all of this works so bear with me.

I grew up in a Christian household, as a baby i was delivered, and would always go to churches or even famous pastor conventions around the world (i say this to say i was raised a Christian at birth pretty much).

In elementary school, i would always find my innocent self having crushes on girls, being the fastest kid to impress them, and doing whatever kid me did. Up to middle school, as i began to be more conscious and find my own calling, hobbies etc, i found myself to be more attracted to males. I would find myself staring at guys in the locker room, or looking at couples and thinking "i think id like to be with the guy more than that girl". Being gay back then was uncommon, and my family is homophobic, (I believe they are homophobic because they are Christian, not just homophobic to be homophobic) so i never really told anyone, i kinda just kept living life. Even in high school, i told nobody. All i would do is just stare at other guys, and develop crushes i knew would never end up happening.

Fasting forward, a few months ago, a pastor for a church I've been going to since i was 12(I'm 20 now), came up to me and we made small talk, he pulled me to the side and put both hands on my shoulders and told me "the lord put this on my mind for a while and I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time now, you are not homosexual". As SOON as he told me that, i started spiraling. I hadn't told a soul that i was gay. I also don't believe i look gay at all, or at least gay enough for him to approach me and just tell me that. He then proceeded to tell me that homosexuality is a spirit, and encouraged me to read the bible. he told me that the lord would put my face in his mind and wanted him to speak to me. I didn't know what to do. but even after he said that and all the prayers ive been given, i feel the same. I occasionally ask god why im like this. I want to be gay because that is who i am, but not only will no one support me, the BIBLE says its wrong. and fast forward to 2 weeks ago, my youth pastor pulled me to the side and told me similar things. He stated that witches and wizards exist, and he has cast demons out of people before. He then said a prayer to me. saying something along the lines of "if this person has a demon or unholy spirit in them i demand it be casted out". Nothing happened. He told me that if there WAS a demon or unholy spirit inside me, i would have started going feral(?) but i feel exactly the same.

My point is i don't really know what to do. I am so lost and these thoughts invade my mind more than anyone knows. I want to say i am gay, but then there are people who will say its a spirit, but i feel fine?? ive been prayed for and even baptized, but everything is the same. I dont know what to do, and any guidance would be appreciated.