I don’t fucking understand chess man

Every single fucking time I play chess there‘s ALWAYS something that I blunder. How the fuck do I avoud these blunders “oh just don’t blunder a piece” yeah thanks for the advice moron. Chess is a bullshit game that I am forever enslaved to because that’s the only sport I actually have a chance in because I turn into a fucking retard if I pick up any other sport. Tried and done, been there done that, I couldn’t quit chess just for the 0.000000000000001% chance that I actually make it big and make it look good pn my CV and some merit for my university application and not be a complete fucking loser oh my god. I’m so tired slamming the table until the bones in my hands crack everytime i blunder something dumb or I bruise my foot when I kick something too hard out of rage. Please god if I am truly intelligent maybe I should be able to break through 900 but these 800 play like fucking Magnus Carlsen. I’m done.