When you separate from toxicity you..

...Get exhausted a lot easier. Your nervous system has to eccentially recalibrate from disregulation to stabilization. You can genuinely feel yourself become less tense.

You've found yourself in a place of genuine healing. But there's also the withdrawal of the chemicals. The sunk cost fallacies of all the loss and collective.

You're always bracing for the next shit storm. Good days feel suspicious and nervous. This doesn't pertain to just one person from my past, but just being able to step away from it all and integrate the topic into spiritual therapy has been tremendous.

CPTSD is a fickle and tricky asshole sometimes, but I'm grateful for the lessons, regardless of how agonizing some experiences may have been.

I'm finding my force again. Music is flowing through me yet again, art is singing and ringing in my orbit. Love has found its way to me yet again but the fear of what they might do to hurt me is absent thus far. It's been a phenomenonal feeling...