AITA for not communicating with family after they decided their friendship with someone is more important than me and my baby

Am I.. I stopped communicating with the family for now because they decided that their friendship with K is more important.

K was originally husband’s friend. She was very nice to me at first, so nice, I introduced her to my family. She and her partner, both Filipinos, started going to family gatherings. When we started fighting last year, she said no matter what she’s on my side. I sent her all the messages between me and H. Poured my heart out to her. And then she and her partner walked with H. After that walk, she started saying things like I should shut up or she will slap me… stop talking or she’ll rip my hair out… talking to me in derogatory way even in a common friends baby shower right before I got settled with my baby…

I stopped communicating with her because I don’t deal with these kind of people. I’m already married to another kind. I’ve never been one to fully explain myself to anyone especially if they don’t really make an effort. I just leave.

During my baby’s bday she was telling my older sister in a less harassing way that I was divorcing her. I told her smiling that this is not the place and time to talk about such things, if she wants to talk then visit another time. She did visit but her first words were I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU!! All of these in Tagalog, but they don’t sound any better in any language.

She ended up just visiting the in laws who were over at our place for 3 weeks. They were another kind of heartache, called me lazy, father yelled at me repeatedly for protecting my baby, calling me crazy in public… this family was nice to me when I had a job and bought them gifts. Now they act like I owe them and their son my whole life when I’m the one that moved cities and quit a good job because their son made me believe in a happy and healthy future together. Making me feel worthless like I was a stray he picked up from the streets. Sigh…

Anyway, I asked my sisters not to invite K anymore to family gatherings because one asshole in the family is enough. My older sister kept saying it’s just her personality.. I shouldn’t pay attention to how she says things. But given everything the husband said to me—leech, lazing around the house, using the baby to control him, etc.. then this person not just simply siding with him… but condoning his behavior, fiercely defending him like a hapless maiden… and then acting all sweet and nice to my family… and my sister asking me to just accept her as she is, but she won’t accept me that I’m also just being me asserting my boundaries.

I already hinted at them a couple of times and then after another family gathering with her, I deliberately asked them not to invite her anymore. But last week, my sister sent a dinner invitation for her wife’s birthday, and she said it’s just family and K and her partner are invited. She not only invited her, she invited her first. I didn’t respond to any more messages. I did call the next morning after dinner, and guess who stayed overnight at their place, yes the K and her partner. I called everyone that day and everyone had to cut the calls short for one reason or another. I haven’t messaged or answered any calls since. And now one of the sisters is asking why and that she’s missing me and my baby.

But between childcare, overdue bootcamp classes, overdue laundry, and surviving and mothering a whole adult aka husband… I simply have no energy to discuss with them what they already decided. I also don’t want to go to next weekend’s gathering because the K is going and everyone just pretending nothing happened. I’m tired of pretending in my own house and now I have to do it with my own family, too?

The gatherings also are exhausting, I don’t get to eat properly, not really able to socialize with even the family because they’re entertaining each other while I have to look after the baby most of the time, baby’s schedule is messed up, etc..

I try to shrug it off but it does bug me, I find myself going over and over it in my head. My older sister said, “we are not the enemies” and I keep thinking but you’re not my ally either.

When I was pregnant, everyone came to visit it was sometimes difficult to rest because they played mahjong at our place all the time and sometimes late into the night. After I gave birth, when I really needed a village, the visits became less and less until no one came anymore and canceled when they planned to. I tried staying at my mother’s too. Twice because I wanted to separate from my husband and needed help those early months. No one helped when I was there either and it was even harder because nothing was childproofed even when I already asked before going there. So I had to come back. twice.

I have no one else to ask. The two people I always talk to are both mothers with babies too who both have a lot on their plate tonight.