Chemo 10 weeks after surgery

I’m looking for reassurance or support, but also honesty. I worry I will spiral.

I had my chemo scheduled a little over 8 weeks after surgery. I had some changes in my treatment team due to changes in staffing. I kept struggling with decision over IVF even though I kept emphasizing I wanted to prioritize my treatment plan and costs as barrier, yet it always resurfaced. I was also presented with a new treatment plan and decision to do chemo or no chemo under ovarian suppression hypothesis for premenopausal women, plan for targeted antiestrogen therapies. I have three affected lymph nodes, macromets and one extranodal extension. I eventually chose chemo (TC) but was anxious until the day and didn’t feel secure fully, fearing at times I didn’t need it. Everything was fine until before infusion and I may have had an anxiety attack. Calmed down eventually and then decided I was not centered enough to move forward with it. Rescheduled chemo but my first date will be a little over 10 weeks post surgery. I feel better about chemo now moving forward even though the ovarian suppression from chemo hypothesis lurks in the background. Like, what if I don’t need to be putting this in my body sort of thing.

But now I’m just worried I’m missing the critical 6-7 or so week window (or 60 day) for chemo post surgery with concerns of decrease effectiveness after that time. I was told by first oncologist recommended 6 weeks, but okay to push 7 weeks, and that unsure when effectiveness drops after, but it drops after 12 weeks for sure. Second oncologist said 60 days, up to 90 days when she thought I was considering IVF.

I should feel good but I’m frustrated that wasn’t communicated to me about delay doing BMX over lumpectomy, the whole IVF stressful process of deciding and timing of deciding (yet stressing to others that I want to prioritize treatment) and not realizing that a referral after my initial oncologist left would mean a possible whole new treatment plan to process the gray or unknown area about whether to do chemo. That was just a slight vent. But also wondering if anyone else who did surgery first. did chemo after 8 weeks post surgery and how it went for them, or if anyone else heard similar things.

I guess there are many positive sides of this, like not having to do A of chemo, and even having had the “choice” I guess to begin with. It was really stressful though because my choice ultimately is whatever is best for decreases recurrence and long life.