Possible escape from this hellhole

there has been a lot of things pushing me to edge lately,but primarily my parents they just dont love me . They basically just dont care , they keep remininding me how much they pay for my providings , my father is emotionally unavailable and my mother is just emotionally unavailable . I live in a joint family and it hurts to see how much lovely mothers can be . My parents dont even bother wishing happy birthday let alone hug . They are hella conservative and i go out of home only for school .My uncle has been wasting so much money on new businesses which affects the whole household , even after my parents earn good , my mother would seeiously make me beg so much for simple thing as much as a facewash , and still doesnt find it as a necessity, same goes with clothes , i dont have even 2 pair of clothes and all she says is "hwere are u gonna go anyways huh ? I will get u clothes once u go in college "

Recently got a coaching for college entrance exams, and not a single day when she doesnt remind me its fees, as if it were something i did for fun ..i nearly died in 6th grade but she would still remind me till day of how much the hospital bill way. She woukd always make me her emotional support to discuss how much money my uncle and aunt are recklessly spending .whenever she is angry or stressed about the whole household situation and it reaches its peak she slaps me, last time i earned 5 hard slaps and after a few hours she acted as if nothing happened.furthermore im stressed about my college entrance exam bevause i cannot bear to take a drop, i have always been a staright a student and the performance pressure keep getting more, even after being a high achiever my mother always woukd tell me how i cant do anything, my father would say my future is non existent after a forget a small thing People who dont know all this think that i have a perfect life necause im good looking and a high achiever .i always think why why do i not have atleast loving parents why are they both like this ?not even one of them is loving ? This thing hurts so muxh My best friend of 10 years kinda betrayed me too, i dont even now believe in friends. Seriously nobody who loves me or have

me as a first choice.

Lately my mother even threatened me, that she will not let me to college. It hurts so much, like why cant they see my potential. She even told me how i am such a s/ut kinda girl and i will run away with somebody (all bevause i was on my tablet for long), but what she dowsnt understand is that tablet is my only escape, i cant go out or talk to anybody else They say to be rebellious for wring things or else u will get more opressed but here in my case ik if i tried to even go out once or anything they will make me leave school and get me married, they call me mannerless and shameless when i talk back on wrong things .They say u should do things that u find joy in, for me its art, but my mother wont let me do.

I found my father having an extra marital affair and even told my mother that i saw pictures of him with another woman, but this woman still doesnt give a damn (wants proof or else she wont believe), i even found my uncle cheating and my father basically tells me in private to not tell anybody, this household is so so fucked up there so much more to it, I have been having suicidal thoughts too . The older i get the more i understand these things and i can seriosuly say i have lost my spark looking back on old pictures, im just so dull now, always tired heavy depression. My sister always tells me to keep hanging until college but the will of running away just gets stronger everyday. Please help, i

cant wait till i graduate from college i will just drop out and run (starting college next year) is there somwthing i can do from now ?what should i do to make things better??