I can't remember what my childhood was

Just a few minutes ago, I went through old photos on my mom's phone. Many photos were just of my little sister who was very young taking pictures of everything, and some when my mom took photos. I already knew before I hadn't had much memories as a kid, and only mostly trauma with some moments and feelings of people or objects. I remember some clothing I wore or some events, but looking through the pictures I realized I forgotten a lot. I don't remember what my room was from only 6 years ago, and couldn't remember much of anything but my one birthday, school event, and fishing. It hurts to think about and weirdly makes me kinda of sad. I have pasting thoughts of some memories and events but other than that nothing more but trauma and horrible things I did as a kid. This memory gap lasts though 8-12, I admit that I did have bad depression through childhood and felt guilt for bad things I did as a kid (those I do remember). I still have bad memory, I can't even remember yesterday sometimes. I suppose I only wanted to communicate this because it gave me really bad dissociation (which I've been working on, but it got worse thinking about my childhood).

I just don't know who I am anymore, or who I was.