Losing hope

Hi guys! I’ve been with my partner who has bipolar for a little over two years now. I am 24F and he is 25M, soon to be 26. I love him a lot and our relationship has had its ups and downs but I can’t help but to wonder what it would be like to be with someone who didn’t struggle with bipolar. My boyfriend has bipolar and ocd. He can be wonderful and loving but in a way I feel as though i’m settling sometimes. Throughout our relationship he’s been super inconsistent and mean at times. I would say at moments it was lowkey emotional/verbal abuse but it got better over time.
I’ve been struggling lately with trusting his word. He’s always been so inconsistent; promising me things that he can never seem to fulfill. He’s promised me to change and be more emotionally stable. He’s promised me we would go ring shopping, that he would get a better job, that he would be nicer, that he would be more understanding. I’m slowly losing hope guys. I love him but I see men be reliable and consistent and mature and I yearn for that so badly. All these empty promises hurt me so much! The fact that he’s never been able to really satisfy my needs emotionally and as a woman I just need more. I’m starting to think being in a relationship with him is a lost cause. It breaks my heart because he is my best friend and we’ve been together for some time but I might have to put myself first.
I’m just struggling so much because I’m so attached to him and I love him…. but I don’t see him changing ever. Sorry i just needed to vent these past 2 years have been so hard putting my needs to the side for him. Sometimes it feels like I am in a relationship with a child. I’m just not sure what to do anymore, I don’t feel strong enough to leave.