The crying hasn’t stopped

I feel like I have the worse curse of anybody in my life.

One person I spent years talking to. One person being my safe space. I know and have known it was a mistake to rely on one person and inevitably may have contributed to the loss of it. And now dealing with the consequences.

But the pain is so severe.
In suffering the grief of this important relationship in silence. And it’s the most painful thing I’ve experienced so far in my life…. And I”m really tired. Tired of crying. Tired of feeling alone.
And then imagine having so much chat history stored into one place. A place you can no longer go back to because it’s gone. It was deleted.

Things that are hard to explain to people on the outside. So you have no choice but to grieve alone. And write these Reddit posts because there’s no where else for the emotions to live other than in my head.

No, this is not a death. Just a really emotional end to a 7 year long friend who meant the world to me.