Truth seeking and curiousity led me away from

Hey everyone. It's my first post here. I grew up in a social southern baptist community. Christian parents. Grand parents. Everyone really. I'm sitting in 5th grade sunday school. The teacher instructs us to color a smiling jesus and sheep while they teach a curated story for children. I don't want to color a smiling Jesus. I want to learn about him. I started going to adult classes and reading the bible. From that age to about 13 i am reading everyday. Read cover to cover once. Lots of referencing and preparing to defend or evangelize. Very passionate. But 13-15. The more i kept reading. The more i keep reading, the more i keep seeing humanity instilled into God. Not God instilled into humanity and a book. The main question at this age is why does an all knowing all powerful being who always had a massive personality change in a measley 400 year period. Why was Abraham's journey so violent. Interested in the canaanites. Interested in the ongoing and upcoming wars that happen in that time. Yahweh came from a polytheistic religion?? Well from 16-23 now i have done so much reading and studying. Outside the bible. Inside the bible. Human history. Language history. And now i feel all alone. I feel as if when i was told as a child to seek the truth i was supposed to find happiness and god. Yet it has led me straight through that. If a man creates something that is immeasurable, then nothing will ever be able to measure it. The most powerful thing was never something real. I understand that space existed before a measuring device. But human beings did not come up with space. Now I'm 23 and know that i will cease to exist when i die. And that everyone around me now seems to be living in a delusion. After all this time the only question that remains in my head that will determine the truth would simply be either god created humans and we cannot measure this. Or human beings have created something we cannot measure. Which has been happening since imagination existed. I don't know what the purpose of my life is anymore other than to seek the truth. But all it does is sit inside of me.