submission for iat got latent (TW: mild suicidal stuff)

knife~

if you find me painted by myself, against a wall

admire me, please, for once and just

let this be my last narcissistic straw before

drinking blood from it, don't let it break yet

as you witness my 'art' supplies for my masterpiece

please, don't break yet. for

joy after a formal, forced, despair often leaves

a bitter, aftertaste, much like I do

much like, apples with their tastier seeds, I fancy

a seed big enough to engulf me with, citron and cyanide

and will you not provide me a gin too?

made a concoction my spinal fluid, blood, thus.

will you not be disgusted or relieved or will

you not help preserve this pathetic souls last tear

oh, you would you fear-er

oh you would give me a death row meal for your meal too

its like a food stamp on a famine letter

just have a stare down, with that wall mural

until my blood dries and its smears and a

puny blown out skull (is it mine)

almost, forms an eye to stare back, startle.

have my bits of brain shoved down my nape

bury it deep within to make, make my

brain look at my heart again for it to

ridicule again, for a last laugh? please?

and, please, repaint my mural off the wall

with just enough white to leave a pink tint

and leave my tools as is, there

if my eyeball intact, embed one in the wall

if not hang my headless carcass with hair-clothes

and call it hope of the future generations many

for the prudent yet arrogant one

just so another princess of melancholy

loads the barrel

unwinds and

opens a mouth

and another painting.

repeat. repent. return.

you dare try to run.?