Tips for Surviving without a support system

I am surviving without a support system. My mother is a Narc. I'm the scapegoat of the family. My mother grows me and my siblings in a way that they mostly keep a watch over me than being my support. I am not sure how to talk about this to friends and other outside people. My mother always making me feel that those children are bad who speak bad things about their parents. I'm 28 now. But I live in flashbacks. I remain numb. I struggle to explain things to people as if I've lost my speech ability. At this moment in my life, I don't trust people, I feel like its wrong to ask for support, I feel like I'll be hurt if I depend on someone. And then I don't know how to survive alone in this world. I would love to know if anyone of you have similar experiences and how are you trying to survive in this situation. Please share your experiences. I might feel I'm not completely alone in this world. Also let me know if I'm posting to wrong community and suggest which is a better place to talk about it.