i can’t be me

I can’t stand her

she’s panicked and crying and never sure of anything in her life.

I’m tired of being her.

She hates everyone including herself

and lately I’ve been putting so much weight on the opinion of people who don’t like her

and I want to fill shoes that are

too small and I can’t even remember

what love is supposed to feel like

if it’s a remedy that will fix everything wrong with me.

My eyes are wet and it’s midnight

and I’m going in circles with substances in my brain

and I wonder what’s so wrong with me

and why I couldn’t be pretty

like all the girls around me who fit the beauty standards like perfect barbies

She’s a nightmare.

Being her is a bad dream and maybe If i scream

i’ll wake up from it.

pinch me

Drench me in a cold bucket of water

I hate being her!