To preface, I’m very very supportive of sex workers. I have no shortage of criticisms for the industry itself and the conditions that lead women to have to choose it, but I harbor absolutely no judgment for people who participate in it.

My sister has decided to get into hostess club work. If you’re not familiar with host club culture, the women are put into private rooms with groups of men with little to no security and entertain them for tips. The extent of what happens there is “up to the girl,” but coercion and worse things are very common. My sister is not planning to do anything other than serve drinks, but I’ve heard horror stories at worst (I won’t get into details but you can imagine), and that it’s soul crushing at best. In my area specifically, host clubs are very common in the underground scene and they’re very unsafe. She’s not doing it out of financial need but to get extra cash. I want to support her, but I just have a horrible feeling about it. I’ve been through some traumatic stuff >!(sexual assault)!< so I know firsthand how evil men can be. It fucked me up; a part of me died then and I haven’t been the same person since. I’ve also done some sex work (not the same kind), and I can confirm that it’s soul crushing. I’ve had breakdown after breakdown about how women are treated in this world, and how horrible men are. I wish I could protect every woman out there, and it tears me apart that I can’t.

I know that part of this is my trauma talking. I know that it’s ultimately her decision and I want to respect that, but I don’t know if I could live with myself if I “let” her walk into an environment where the odds of that kind of trauma is so much higher. If it were any other sex work adjacent job that didn’t put her directly in potentially dangerous situations, I’d be wholeheartedly supportive. It’s 100% only the potential for danger that I’m concerned about. My sister is also young and I don’t think she understands what she’s getting into, but she won’t listen to me. I had an in-depth conversation with her where I explained all of my concerns and the risks, but there’s no changing her mind. Because my sister doesn’t have any experience with >!sexual violence!< trauma, she doesn’t understand how life ruining it can be. She is also pretty naive about the world. It already destroyed my soul living with my own trauma; I think it’d ruin me knowing my sister went through something similar. I want to be a supportive older sibling, but I also want to be a responsible one, and I don’t know where the middle of those two ends are. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. I feel like an awful sister.

Chips and a beef & bean burrito (reposted with a full meal)

I don’t think I can support my sister’s decisions