My 3-year-old said “not you, I want Mommy” and it hurt more than I expected

Last night my daughter woke up crying around 2 a.m. My wife had already been up with her twice this week, so I told her to stay in bed and went into our daughter’s room. I sat beside her, offered water, found the stuffed rabbit she had kicked onto the floor, and asked if she wanted me to hold her. She looked straight at me and said, “No. Not you. I want Mommy.” When I told her Mommy was sleeping and Daddy could help, she started crying harder and kept repeating that she didn’t want me.

I know she’s three. I know this is normal, especially because my wife has always handled more of the bedtime routine. My daughter loves playing with me, runs to the door when I come home, and usually asks me to read the same dinosaur book five times in a row. Logically, I understand that one exhausted toddler rejecting me at 2 a.m. doesnt mean anything. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting. I eventually woke my wife, and the second she walked in our daughter calmed down and reached for her. I went back to bed feeling completely useless, then felt guilty because my wife was once again the one losing sleep.

This morning my daughter climbed onto my lap like nothing had happened and asked me to make pancakes. Obviously she has already forgotten the whole thing, while I’m still thinking about it. I dont want to compete with my wife or make my daughter responsible for my feelings. I also don’t want to step back every time she asks for Mom, because then I’ll never become someone she feels safe with during the difficult moments. For dads who went through a strong “Mom only” phase, did you keep taking your turn even through the screaming, or did you let it pass naturally? How do you avoid taking it personally when your kid makes their preference painfully clear?