Is this dysphoria and dysmorphia?

in the past month or so, I’ve decided that I might be trans. I don’t really know what I want to do or how I want to present, I just don’t want to be masculine. I just want to look like a woman, and have people think I’m one, but still be a guy. Lately I’ve been fixating on things like my face having masculine features, or my height, my big hands and feet, or my broad shoulders. whenever I see guys online who look so pretty I get jealous. I woke up this morning from a dream about nothing but my shoulders being broad. I’m 6 foot at 15 and my shoulders are measured at 19 inches. I’m worried that I’ll keep growing and miss the one chance I had at transitioning. I feel like I’m living the wrong life. I just want to be soft and small, and feel good about myself. I don’t want to transition because I look too masculine and I really want to pass more than anything. I have never wanted anything as much as this. I’ve tried to see a future where I’m just a tall and athletic looking woman, but it never feels right. I just want all of this to be resolved, and to ultimately be happy with the person I am, but I feel like I’m trying to walk through a window made of bulletproof glass, while it’s just air for others.