Failure

I was waitlisted for MSc Cognitive Science at IITD and then eventfully told via an email by the department coordinator that the seats are full, I spent the entirety of yesterday measuring my life choices and options that I have left.

Coming from an extremely small town with no support from my family, and constant pressure to always do well and excel, I have given up.

I spent the entirety of yesterday applying to shit fresher jobs on LinkedIn and the rest of the day thinking about ………….

It’s very easy for people to give you random words of wisdom or to tell you it is not a big deal but it is. I have applied for scholarships abroad, I have gotten accepted and received multiple offers while never having any money to fund it.

I keep applying to jobs just to get ghosted, and then I wake up to my family asking me questions about my future that I do not know the answers to.

My mother keeps reminding me that I am getting older and she keeps pushing me to study for govt exams. She hates the idea of a private job.

I really want everything to be life….., but I can’t think of any way without not making it harder for my family to clear up the mess.