My mum doesn't think I love her due to her own relationship with her mum.

I have lived on my own for 3.5 years but half a year ago i move home while my flat purchase was going though, on my parents suggestion as we beloved it wouldn't take long as we were 3 months in. Within the first month my mom said "I hope for all our sakes you're out by the end of January".

And I have struggled for the last 6 months I have struggled to reject their help with lifts to work as I feel like I'm infringing on their life and their finances, they mention how they are struggling but refuse money, saying they do because they are my parents and they love me. The only time other than sleeping that I have to myself is when I take that bus, and it makes me feel like I have some of my independence back.

I have just moved to my first home and my parents were very eager to help me move, but I had to be on their own timescale (fast as they have a busy life, I understand and was amenable to this). But I feel guilty for their help and it feels like they were not respecting my autonomy. During the move they said the same thing that they want to help me move as they were unable to help financially, unlike their friends, and that they are doing it out of the good of their love for me. I could see tension were rising between especially my mum and me, due to her experience and view on how I should decorate/make decisions. I wanted to sleep their during the decorating with just a sleeping bag, as I didn't want another lift from them to work, but my mum trying to have my bet interests at heart said I can't, so I made an arrangement with a friend to stay at hers. My parents found this difficult as they wanted to help(and some other reason I can't remember)

I have since decorated and everything went quite well with me biting my tongue when they did something I didn't want done or was done in a rushed manner, but my dad was due to come over to show me how to change my lock. When he came my mother also came over and she was asking me lots of questions and trying to solve problems I hadn't asked her to fix. I got a bit overwhelmed and told her I couldn't deal with this problems at the moment and I felt like she had overstepped with my neighbour telling them she lives nearby and will come over if their is any issue with the property/will put him in contact with a fire alarm company to come fit alarms. She stormed out saying that she had obviously overstepped the mark and all the help she has given me that I asked for was taking my independence away, she then took my kettle(that she had lent me) and other things, she then listened from under the staircase to me talking to my dad, where I mentioned what had happened and that it wasn't my job to make her believe I love her as she was fucked over by her own mum and dad.

I would of never said these words if I knew she was listening and I want her to feel loved.

Is it my fault that I'm ungrateful for help I never asked for?

How do I mend my relationship with my mum?

How do I establish boundaries without offending them both?

How do come to a point where my flat feels like my own and that in worthy of it?

Thanks, and sorry for the rant/block of text with terrible grammar, I just needed to get it out.