Self-racist immigrant Chinese Father

My father is an immigrant from Hong Kong and my mother is an immigrant from Singapore and I was born and raised in California.

When my grandmother and a relative from Singapore came to visit California and referred to a boat as a "sampan" to my grandmother which means boat in Malay and Chinese, my father insisted that it should be called a boat and not a sampan.

I used to go with my mother to Singapore to visit my grandparents as a child, but after my passport expired, my father refused to renew my passport or let my mother go.

His reasoning was that my mother was his wife and that I was his son and that we belong to him and not to my mother's side of the family.

He would also use the reason that my grades were not good to refuse me from going to Singapore because he said that I would not study well if I spent too much time there, even a mere 3 weeks.

Yet, during all my years of childhood and as a teenager in America, I was only ever sent to summer school twice.

I hated studying and could not sit down and pay attention and my father always blamed my mother for not forcing me to study.

If you asked me to study for the SAT, midterms, or final exams today as a 33 year old, I still would not be able to do it.

I cannot speak Chinese well but I learned a little, so I tried to set my GPS audio to Cantonese to see how much I could understand, but when my father heard it, he said, "This is not Hong Kong".

He has always been a staunch supporter of the Republican Party and especially Donald Trump, but from what I have seen here, narcissists exist on both sides of politics in America.

I did not like Trump or the Democrats, so I never voted, but he told me that I should support Trump is for America and because Chinese people from China would not treat Chinese Americans like me well anyway.

I get that Chinese Americans are probably going to be treated as outsiders by Chinese people especially because we cannot speak the language fluently and even if we did, we would obviously sound American.

But wouldn't this be the problem of my father prohibiting me from speaking and being spoken to in Chinese as a child and preventing me from having enough exposure to my relatives from my mother's side?