Is it possible to become somebody that doesn't wish for another lockdown, or some other excuse to do nothing?

I have a job, I have a car, I go out and socialise, I exercise, I go to the cinema, go out for dinner. However, I wish I didn't have to do any of those things. If a lockdown came along and I had to just stay in and do nothing, I would be so pleased. In fact, the idea of being put in prison forever, or having a physical disability that kept me inside, feels pretty blissful.

I spend a lot of my life not really feeling in the mood to do things, and forcing myself to do things even though I have no natural motivation to do them. But I also don't want to miss out on life experiences, and have regrets that I didn't do more stuff in life. I wish I had a valid excuse to let myself do nothing and not regret it. I've spent so much of my life not really properly living, and waiting to feel like living is worth the effort.

But I don't want to be this kind of person. I want to be somebody that is keen and enthusiastic about things in life, and is annoyed when he can't do what he wants to do. I want to find the idea of a lockdown bad, because I enjoy the challenges and rewards of the world.

I am in therapy and have tried lots of antidepressants. But nothing seems to shift my feeling of "life is a chore". Is it possible to change it?